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Selene's Needs Based Intention Setting Process

1/9/2021

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Selene is sharing her annual practice of setting intentions for the coming year based on the needs she wants to nourish. She'll walk you through the process she uses to move from needs to strategies and goal setting.

What to expect:
Listen to the recording of the live event where we worked with a series of questions in empathic listening pairs, so come prepared to share and explore and support each other. Bring a needs list or set of cards.  You can explore these questions with an friend or in a journal.  There are no prerequisites for engaging with this process AND if you have done some basic NVC it will be helpful.

This process is based on NVC. It is one way to integrate needs consciousness, to take your undrstanding of needs another step deeper. I also offer this course as an in-person or zoom workshop that can be requested. Email me for details. 
Access the Materials Here
​Contribution to Selene's Financial Needs:
My preference is to move towards gift economy. For me, this is an application of needs consciousness that is at the core of this work. I'm happy to receive whatever you feel comfortable to give while also asking that you consider my financial needs. The idea is that you choose a number that balances both our needs. I have publicly shared my financial needs so that you can make a grounded decision.

My preference would be that everyone connected with themselves to find an amount that balances both our needs, and I'm aware that may take time and energy that not everyone has. If you prefer not to choose a number yourself, here is a suggestion: 5€ - 20€

Learn more about this here:
http://www.vibrantlyalive.me/enter-into-gift-economy-with-me.html
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Listening to Understand: Online Course Available

10/16/2020

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How often do we listen with the intention to understand? How often when we are listening are we actually deciding if we agree or disagree? How often when listening are we actually internally preparing our own argument?

Listening to understand is foundational to community living, as an intention, as a skill to practice, and as a capacity to increase.

I recommend exploring this series after Listening to Connect. It can be followed by Receiving Feedback.
How the series works:
This series takes place over 4 weeks and is customizable to your own pace. There are 4 sections, including a video and practices on a specific aspect of Listening to Connect.  You will be invited to practice these listening skills by applying them immediately with the people that you are currently living with (this supports us in building community where we are, now, without waiting for the "perfect" community). You will also be invited to find a listening buddy to practice with.

This series is based on NVC. Each section will also include increasing needs language and awareness. I also offer this course as an inperson workshop. Email me for details. This course is the suggested prerequisite for Receiving for Feedback. ​
Access the Course

​Contribution to Selene's Financial Needs:

My preference is to move towards gift economy. For me, this is an application of needs consciousness that is at the core of this work. I'm happy to receive whatever you feel comfortable to give while also asking that you consider my financial needs. The idea is that you choose a number that balances both our needs. I have publicly shared my financial needs so that you can make a grounded decision.

My preference would be that everyone connected with themselves to find an amount that balances both our needs, and I'm aware that may take time and energy that not everyone has. If you prefer not to choose a number yourself, here is a suggested sliding scale: 20€ - 50€

Learn more about this here:
http://www.vibrantlyalive.me/enter-into-gift-economy-with-me.html
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Listening to Connect: Online Course Available

8/7/2020

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How often do we listen with the intention to connect, to be present with the other human being in front of us? How often are we only appearing to listen while in fact thinking about my reply? Listening to connect is foundational to community living, as an intention, as a skill to practice, as a capacity to increase.

How the series works:
This series takes place over 4 weeks and is customizable to your own pace. There are 4 sections, including a video and practices on a specific aspect of Listening to Connect.  You will be invited to practice these listening skills by applying them immediately with the people that you are currently living with (this supports us in building community where we are, now, without waiting for the "perfect" community). You will also be invited to find a listening buddy to practice with.

This series is based on NVC. Each section will also include increasing needs language and awareness. I also offer this course as an inperson workshop. Email me for details. This course is the suggested prerequisite for Listening to Understand. 
Access the Course

​Contribution to Selene's Financial Needs:
My preference is to move towards gift economy. For me, this is an application of needs consciousness that is at the core of this work. I'm happy to receive whatever you feel comfortable to give while also asking that you consider my financial needs. The idea is that you choose a number that balances both our needs. I have publicly shared my financial needs so that you can make a grounded decision.

My preference would be that everyone connected with themselves to find an amount that balances both our needs, and I'm aware that may take time and energy that not everyone has. If you prefer not to choose a number yourself, here is a suggested sliding scale: 20€ - 50€

Learn more about this here:
http://www.vibrantlyalive.me/enter-into-gift-economy-with-me.html
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Developing Self Love: An Online Course

3/21/2018

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Yesterday I launched an online course that I am SO EXCITED to share. This has been brewing in me for a while and it's time to bring it out to the light! This 8 week course introduces nonviolent communication and how we can harness it and self empathy to deepen our self love.  Spaces are quite limited because I’m offering such personal and direct support through coaching, so sign up ASAP. I aim to start on April 9th so registration will close on April 4th. 

As I was writing the welcome email to those who have already signed up (yay!), I felt touched by my own authentic sharing. When I sat down to write this, I definitely didn't plan to share so deeply, so quickly. But that's the beauty of a commitment to living authentically: realness comes out when we don't expect it, in small and simple ways.  I am sharing that welcoming letter below, because I think it provides a window into the power of engaging a practice self love and a taste of what this course is about.  
I am so excited to welcome you to this course. Working with this information over the past few years has drastically improved my self esteem. I've always felt that the choice to love myself was a radical act, a defiance in the face of a world that profits off of fear, sadness and self-rejection. But it wasn't until I started applying these principles from nonviolent communication in the form of a practice of self-empathy that I began to notice a shift.

What was the shift? Well, although I had many loving experiences, I was constantly seeking external validation of my worthiness. I was seeking external validation that I deserved love, that I deserved to love myself. I firmly believe that this is rooted in my evangelistic Christian upbringing... the fear that even God didn't love me because I was somehow intrinsically "bad". 

Nonviolent Communication provides practical, simple tools to dismantle those moralistic judgments that we hold, not only of other people, but of ourselves. I engaged a practice of self love: a daily habit of self-connection, self-empathy, and self-acceptance, which has resulted in a greater sense of self-empowerment.

This is what I want to share with you through this course. I don't claim to perfectly love myself all the time. But I have noticed a consistent improvement in my self esteem, my ability to create a space of peace within myself, and a greater capacity to choose my responses to triggers, rather than reacting unconsciously. I have noticed a ripple out improvement in my relationships: with my spouse and with the Divine. I have noticed that I have a greater capacity to experience joy and to receive love from others. And, I have noticed that I feel more motivated to and capable of effecting change in my life and the world around me. 

I'm so happy you are joining me on this brief journey to explore Developing Self Love through applying nonviolent communication tools and skills. 

With Love,
Selene
Learn More about this Course
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    Selene Aswell
    GIFT ECONOMY COACH

    Selene is a facilitator, speaker, and coach. 

    Her work, based on NVC, is focused on needs-consciousness raising and integrating nonviolence into human relationships and communities.
    ​More about Selene. . .

    Book Selene
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    SHUA YOUNKIN
    Mindfulness COACH

    Shua has lived in intentional communities for most of the last decade.

    Shua has been actively integrating NVC for 13 years. Shua 
    enjoys building and fixing things, contact improv, practicing Focusing, and regenerative agriculture.

    ​More about Shua. . .
    Book Shua
    Gifted Workshop Recordings
    Exploring Gift Economy
    Assumptions Underlying NVC

    ​Intention Setting
    Listening to Connect
    Listening to Understand
    Committed to Nonviolence

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  • Blog
  • About Us
    • Reviews
    • Sign Up to Newsletter >
      • Whitelist Instructions
  • Offerings
    • Community Building Consultation
    • Book Selene
    • Book Shua
  • Upcoming Events
  • Gifted Resources
    • Gift Economy >
      • Exploring Gift Economy Calls and Recordings
    • Needs Consciousness >
      • Intention Setting
      • Assumptions Underlying NVC
    • Upskilling Foundations >
      • Listening to Connect
      • Listening to Understand
    • Committed to Nonviolence
    • NVC Resources >
      • Why NVC?
      • Printable Feelings/Needs Cheatsheet
      • DIY Needs Cards
      • Core Commitments
      • Recommended Books
  • Support Us
  • Contact Us