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Why Bother? (A Poem)

8/28/2018

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I stumbled across this poem on Facebook  yesterday.

In case you can't read my hand writing it says:
Why Bother?

Because right now, there is          someone

out there with

a wound                                           in the exact shape

                                                          of your words.

-Sean Thomas Dougherty
from The Second O of Sorrow

My heart was struck. It was what I needed to read. It was so good that I stopped everything I was doing to hand write this poem in my bullet journal. It's on the back side of my monthly calendar for September, so I'll be able to look at it all next month.

I've been feeling a bit discouraged lately, faced with flinging my effort into the void that is the internet. I so so so want to bring my work with NVC, both how I use it with my relationship with my self and with my beloved, into the world. I so so so want to support people, to help us all feel empowered to change the world. And I understand that I cannot do that if people don't know I (and my work) exist, thus social media. 

And yet I feel daunted, overwhelmed, and disheartened these past few days, primarily about working online. How much to share? On which platform? Does it really make a difference? Will anyone see it or respond? Does blogging, mail lists, facebook, youtube, instagram... does any of it really help me to get my offered support out there and received? Am I just spinning my wheels? Am I inserting myself on a hamster wheel of my own making? 

What's the point? Why bother? were questions and feelings rolling through me the past few days.

I've been exhausted by my day job, standing on my feet for hours, and very disillusioned by the financial state of the world... I would love to go back to school but do I really want to take on more debt to do so, when I haven't paid off my student loans yet? 

I dream of recreating Eden on Earth, of role-modeling a sustainable way of living and being on this planet. 

And even if I do build a business, would it be enough to acquire for my self the small farm I dream of? And more than that, do I really want to engage in capitalism further? 

And so on my thoughts and feelings and needs rolled around in me over the past two weeks or so.

Then, yesterday, I came across this poem and my painful wonderings bloomed in my heart into a full "yes!" feeling. "There is someone with a wound the exact shape of your words." Tears fill my throat, but in a beautiful way. In a way that reflects how SEEN I am in this poem, how held and accepted. My effort is worth it. 

And now I am remembering the kind responses I've received from people who've gotten coaching from me recently. Words reflecting, for example, how a session with me was "more effective then therapy" or how they were feeling overwhelmed but after an hour and a half with me, they were feeling "hopeful". Just as my support, my words filled the wound in their heart, so too did their words fill the shape of the worry in my heart. 

I am feeling so grateful for this poem, and so happy to have come across it in this time.  Thank you Sean, your poem is the exact shape of the wound in me. 

Resources:
Read the original post I saw on Facebook of this poem.
This is the author's Facebook page.
​Get the book of poems here.
Book coaching with Selene here.
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    Selene Aswell
    GIFT ECONOMY COACH

    Selene is a facilitator, speaker, and coach. 

    Her work, based on NVC, is focused on needs-consciousness raising and integrating nonviolence into human relationships and communities.
    ​More about Selene. . .

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    SHUA YOUNKIN
    Mindfulness COACH

    Shua has lived in intentional communities for most of the last decade.

    Shua has been actively integrating NVC for 13 years. Shua 
    enjoys building and fixing things, contact improv, practicing Focusing, and regenerative agriculture.

    ​More about Shua. . .
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      • Exploring Gift Economy Calls and Recordings
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